Highs and Lows

What goes up must come down. Man this week has been more difficult than anything i've done in my life. I'll admit, to all my friends from the mtc, I cried for the first time, then the second, then the third. It's been a real struggle for me. Not going to lie, going home was a thought that crossed my mind. However, It wasn't until yesterday that I felt alright. Before I get further, I'll go ahead and tell you all about my week.


For those who do not have a lot of time, read the paragraph below this one, and read what happened on sunday.

Other cool information before I get started, Dublin is the Food Capital of the mission. The missionaries have a love for this mission, because it has the holy trinity of restaurants. Dicey's Garden, which is basically as Irish as you can get. 5 euro, You get your choice of meat, and vegetables, So I got a couple slices of pork, and then got Spinach, and Carrots, they they add a bunch of stuffing. then you get 2 baked potatoes, a big scoop of mashed potatoes, boiled potatoe chunks, then covered in Chips (aka potato wedges) then smothered in a dark gravy. OH IRELAND! It's a huge meal, and it's really cheap. The next is called Boojim. It's the closest thing to mexican food they offer in this mission. It's really good, but it's just not at all comparable to mexican food back home. But it's also just as cheap, and as big as Beto's back home, so I'm satisfied. The best is saved for last. It's called Star Pizza. 5 euro, you get a 9 inch pizza, a big back of chips, and a 32 oz drink. People who eat at star pizza share the exact same sentiment that we would say about betos. It's unhealthy, cheap, but INSANELY good, followed by a few hours of regret. It's basically sinning.

My companion is Elder Norris. He grew up in california, but he lived in orem prior to his mission. He's an amazing person. Proud to serve alongside him.

Tuesday: I arrived at the mission home. We sang songs, had a devotional. Shepherds Pie from my mission president's chef. Ahhh that was some good stuff. I ran into Elder Butler after about 5 minutes of being in the home. We sat next to each other at dinner. He's doing amazing. So many other missionaries look up to him. And he loves the mission. After, we went finding, or GQ'ing. It means golden question. Basically, we walk endlessly talking to as many people as we can. We found a guy that was taking his trash out, and it turned out that meeting was enough to get him interested in learning about the gospel. He was visiting Edinburgh from cork, so his number has been transferred off. Also ran into my first MEGA atheist. He believed all religion is overcome with corruption, and there is no way we can prove, nor could we replicate, a miracle, or proof of God. He was a silly guy. He liked yelling, which i'll admit was kind of funny.

Wednesday: TRAVEL DAY. We left shortly before 6:00 am, and we landed in our flat around 7:30 pm. And we went finding the rest of the night. I'll admit, I was only just beginning to adjust, and I met a lot of salty boys on the streets. I did not have a positive journal entry that day. However, during the travel day, I got to spend a lot of time with 2 of my MTC friends, Elder McDermott, and Sister Menzie. We took photos on the top of the ferry from scotland to ireland. which is a 3 hour boat ride, I should tell you. Can't wait to talk to them again some day.

Thursday: We had 4 lessons, all of which were in the local McDonalds. We spend nearly every moment of the day on Grafton Street, so if you look up Grafton Street in dublin, and can see the mcdonalds right there on the square, most likely i'm standing there, talking to people. 2 cool things happened though. There is a guy that is huge friends with the missionaries that works on the street. He isn't a member, but he loves us like he was. He came by with over 70 euros of Thai food for us to take home, free of charge, just handed off like it was a christmas present. What a guy. As we were leaving, My companion got a call from the district leader, so he was off a bit, talking to him. As they were on the phone, a man came up to me. He asked if I was mormon. I obviously told him I was. He introduced himself. His name is Martin. He's not a member or anything, but he pleaded that I pray for him. He was about to go through the addiction recovery process, and he really needed any help we can give him. I talked to him for about 5 minutes. I keep him in my prayers, since I know that can be really really hard.

Friday: right after we got into the square in front of the McDonalds, a man came up to us and asked if we were jehovas witnesses. We told him no. He then went on for about 10 minutes about how much he loves jesus, and how amazing the bible is, and how profound the constant search for knowledge is. He thinks our church is super cool for having additional scripture that serves as a second witness of Jesus Christ. We had our first lesson just before lunch with a man named marcos. I made my first baptismal invite, and he said yes. He came to church with us on sunday, which was awesome. He plans on continuing the work towards that goal. We met with a romanian Girl named Adele. She has already had all the lessons, she just isn't sure about baptism yet. But she loves talking to the missionaries all the time.

Saturday: As one of my mtc friends can describe, I'll offer the same sentiment. OOF. Saturday was awful. I broke down a lot. Didn't know what I was doing with my life. I didn't know what was wrong. I couldn't handle being a missionary. While my companion and I were on Grafton bridge, I was studying, looking for clarity, for answers, and he was GQ'ing. I came across Section 29 of Doctrine and Covenants, and I read the first 6 verses, since they were the ones on the page. Oh man, It's exactly what i needed. I got to have a genuine conversation with an atheist who expressed a lot of sentiments I totally agree with. It's completely in-genuine, and hypocritical that he's met missionaries before, that as soon as they find out he's atheist, reject him, and push him away. He thinks it's messed up that people that are supposed to be preaching about repentance, and love, reject anyone that doesn't believe in the same religion as them, and treats them like less than human. Because of this kind of experience across several years of his life, he had come to the conclusion that all religions are close minded, unwilling to allow the people to think for themselves, and thus forget how to love someone for who they are, a child of God. I believe we left that conversation on a super positive note, with both of us coming closer to Christ. That was probably the highlight of the week. I believe we are going to be good friends later on. That night, we met an anti everything kind of guy. He went on and on about how religion is all about mind control. How the IRS is feeding corruption, and I don't know what else he was on about. He told us how messed up his life is. I won't repeat what I heard, I'd rather not think about what his life story. But I definitely understand now what happens when you accumulate hundreds of years of hatred, wickedness, and betrayal, and feed it to someone their whole life. It's really sad.

Sunday: The breaking point. After church, we went to Grafton street, just like usual. We had an appointment that got canceled, so we went into McDonalds for Companion study. I have purposefully left out how hard it has been to be a missionary. While in the McDonalds, I had had enough. I was moments away from taking my badge, throwing it away, and calling the mission president. This entire week I've been in a black hole. I hadn't felt happy. I couldn't smile. But the worst part of it all was I didn't know why I felt this. I offered my plea to God for something. Anything that I can do to remove this mist of darkness I was trapped in. In that moment of despair, my companion told me to forget it all. Forget everything about what i'd learned about being a missionary, and just be myself. We were in the middle of the square, and he said what's the funniest way I can find. I thought for about 1 second, before remembering a promise i'll admit I wasn't serious about making at the mtc. I promised a few people I'd GQ people by asking them "What's Poppin?" since it was the most strange thing you could ask someone. So with a grin on my face, I asked everyone, both old and young that question. In less than a minute, I met a few kids my age that we got into a conversation about religion on. The next minute, we set up an appointment for tuesday at 7:00. I have no idea even still why that worked, but it makes me bust up laughing thinking about it. I think it clicked. Now I'm happy. I feel normal. As the missionary life works its way into my being, I'll continue being myself, and being true to the person I want to be.

Love You All!

Elder Fisk​